haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
