It's Friday. Sex?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
