Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
