the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
