Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
