i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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