i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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