I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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