yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
