My balls are so social today.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
