At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
