Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
