idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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