Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
