either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
