In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
