i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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