What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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