The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
