i don't like sucking hair
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
