Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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