Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
