it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize