Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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