Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this boner is exhausting
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...