Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend