Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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(903): View more from Texas

Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I find this completely acceptable.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.

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(404): View more from Georgia

They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

(618): View more from Illinois

Disappointment?

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(541): View more from Oregon

She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.

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(817): View more from Texas

...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"

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