No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
