It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dating After Heartbreak
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.