Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

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  (312): I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved. http://tfl.nu/f2dp
  Replies (5) Good night (3079) Bad night (947)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.

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  (770): also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know. http://tfl.nu/zxqk
  Replies (0) Good night (1144) Bad night (1393)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.

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  (859): I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song. http://tfl.nu/z4jp
  Replies (62) Good night (1284) Bad night (3604)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?

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  (908): why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it? http://tfl.nu/3moc
  Replies (52) Good night (1901) Bad night (4824)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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  (808): Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet? http://tfl.nu/bi9l
  Replies (20) Good night (5496) Bad night (848)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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  (704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux
  Replies (14) Good night (5436) Bad night (1119)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.

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  (519): It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band. http://tfl.nu/y1g3
  Replies (18) Good night (1131) Bad night (5313)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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  (206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (1236)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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  (770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7
  Replies (9) Good night (1095) Bad night (1465)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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  (216): Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway. http://tfl.nu/lxny
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (560)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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  (905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (944)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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  (860): people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids http://tfl.nu/scfe
  Replies (2) Good night (1926) Bad night (402)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

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  (770): He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles. http://tfl.nu/ru6c
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (752)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids

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  (414): And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids http://tfl.nu/86i1
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (285)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....

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  (913): The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean? (1-913): Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy..... http://tfl.nu/mjqc
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (310)

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