he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
