So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
