How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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