I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
