I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
