yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
