Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
