She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
