Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
