Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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