How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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