nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I look better un-naked...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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