Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
