i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
