in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
