so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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