sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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