I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
