i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
