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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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