false alarm. still invincible.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize