whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
