i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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