Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
More tranny stories later!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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