just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
