i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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