im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
