were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize