plz talk dirty to me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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