I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
