AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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