have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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