In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She bit a glass in half.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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