He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
