yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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