Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
